I wrote this in response to a friend’s bulletin, I won’t say who.. but I thought I would post it here as well.. just.. to get it off my chest, in a way…

I cant say i know exactly what it feels like to be you.. because no one does, really.. but I know what place of fake smiles and lies… Paint on the mask and realize you’re both happy and angry it works.. because no one really sees you.. they just see the pretend and the make believe.. they don’t want to think something is wrong because that might disrupt their perfect little lives

I agree with you.. get the HELL out of there and start over, because you won’t be able to breathe again until you do.

But I should warn you.. every now and then, that suffocating feeling will come back.

I’m fucking married.. and I love Eric to death and still i almost messed it up.. remember?

Because the little things come back after you, even when you think they’re gone

I’m not going to tell you everything is going to be alright or “it’s not that bad” or any of the other lines of bullshit everyone else will feed you.  it IS that bad and the walls get closer every day.

But ti does get better.. easier.. more free.. once you get away from all the Fakes.

When you escape that hell, be honest with yourself and everyone else.  Be an asshole if you have to.. because trying to please people put’s you right back into that suffocating mask all over again.

I know that’s not a good place to be.

Keep your head above water just a little longer and I know you’ll make it out alive.

And when you leave, it might hurt, but sever all ties with the fakes.

Trying to maintain even minimal contact will tear you apart. If they hurt you now, they;’ll hurt you from a distance too.

Don’t accept the bullshit and the lies and the games people play.

I’m behind you, my prayers are with you, and i really really hope that you escape with yourself “in tact”.

I still break down crying in the shower, pounding on the walls and wishing it would all just stop hurting so much. but it’s not so often anymore.. and I recover and move on

You can do the same.

Hang in there, and give em hell