Deep dark secrets. We all have them. But seriously, how many of them actually matter? To us they matter, mine matter to me, after all… there are things that I’ve done and said and thought that I wouldn’t want people to know…(but maybe I’ll share them with you all one day, who knows). But often times, I see other people’s secrets laid out before the world and they don’t really matter. Most of the time, it’s just… something that makes you different.
Which brings me to another point. When you are young, you revel in your ability to be different.. but the older you get, the more you try to fit in. Even when trying to avoid social norms by hanging out with the Goth kids in school or whatever… then you follow their rules, because if you don’t fit, then out you go from that group too. This means we make secrets about ourselves and put on a mask, trying to make it easier. By the time we’re adults, we have so many masks that we don’t know what we look like anymore.
What we think about when nobody is around, what we dream about.. a lot of these things never get shared with anyone, for fear of exile or ridicule or having people think you extremely strange. No wonder depression rates are so high, why people are so unhappy.
I was happy with what I’ll call the “emo movement” at first, but even that has become commercialized and so stereotyped that you can’t even be yourself and fit in with that movement. I THOUGHT it was about being yourself and not being afraid to show emotion and calling people on their BS, but apparently it’s about pretending to be sad all the time and refusing to enjoy life. I know that not everyone is like this within the “emo community” but seriously, come on… Be yourself, not a stereotype….
So getting to the root of things. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Don’t be afraid of your emotions. Ride them like a roller-coaster… it’s better than bottling them up into a ball of hate and doom. Be weird… it’s better than being some cookie-cutter thing you aren’t. If you want to keep some things to yourself, that’s okay, but don’t lie to yourself.
All of us go through some really messed up shit. Really messed up.. like prime-time crime drama, suspense movie, tear-jerker, make-you-want-to-kill-someone messed up. It’s harder on some than others.. but there are people out there to help. So stop trying to do everything yourself, because you can’t. no one can. God can’t even do everything himself… he had to send Jesus to the world. And if you don’t believe in God well, that’s up to you, but nobody can go through life alone and do the things they want to do without help.
